What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?
11.06.2025 05:26
What happens?
I would leave this partner to grant him full freedom to go find whatever he is looking for and spend the time and energy that I put into that relationship getting to know myself. What I would find is someone flawed and worthy of love.
I would work hard at only being interested in people who are equally interested in me.
Why do I smell bad even though I have good hygiene?
I would realize that it’s not my partner who is hurting me. I am hurting myself, by agreeing to stay with someone who is looking for something he is not finding in me.
There is another scenario:
In one scenario, I stay with this partner, wonder why he doesn’t love me, and begin living in a world of my creation where I believe that, unfortunately, I am not worth loving.
Vera Rubin quarter coin released by US Mint - BBC Sky at Night Magazine
I believe this non-love is the best I can do and spend all my time and energy attempting to preserve the very thing that causes me pain.
“Making someone love me” is the most painful, most fruitless of efforts, because love cannot be manufactured in this way.
I would ask myself why I consider it worth my time to be with someone who does not find me valuable. Identifying this answer will over time protect me from finding myself in this same predicament over and over.
If my “partner” didn’t see value in me and hurt me searching for something in others, I would remind myself that I cannot change people, “make them see” or “make them love me”.